Arnold

The New California Governator has just announced an agreement whereby
English will be the official language of the state, rather than German,
which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, The Terminator's Government conceded that
English spelling had some room for improvement

And has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known
as"Austro-English" (or, if nobody will be offended, "Austrionics").

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will
make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favor
of the "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less
letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will make words
like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted
to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl
mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"
with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining"ou"
and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
understand ech oza.

Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.