what female net artists do at christmas [or why I have been ignoring you dear heart]

happy new year

i could do without my computer, tv or radio

but you would have to pry my dishwasher from my cold dead fingers

i cooked for 12 on the friday

my dishwasher washed the cutlery they had brought as i only had 5
knives and the teaspoons went long before

they brought the puddings in plastic tubs which now hold playdoh,
puzzles and beads

i cooked for 8 on saturday

on sunday i cleaned the house and ate chocolate and drank coffee

on monday 3 loads went though the dishwasher as i cleaned the dishes
ready for the festive week

i keep them under the sink and the tap had leaked brown water into the
mix and match patterns

on tuesday i cooked for 6 and left a mince pie and a shot of jd for an
extra guest

on wednesday i cooked for 8 and one in-utero

(not my utero thank fuck)

on thursday i cooked for 7 and stacked the dishwasher with ewan
mcgregor

(on the stereo - i have yet to fit a scot in my machine)

on friday i cooked for 10

on saturday i went to the cinema.

with my thirty-first birthday on the horizon it struck me that my mindless
fantasizing involving possibly both frodo and legolas might reasonably
constitute child abuse

on sunday i was depressed

very depressed

on monday i cooked for nine and ate the leftovers for tea.

on tuesday we ate the leftover leftovers

we stayed up to listen to big ben and then went to bed

on wednesday we ate chinese food and gave the dishwasher time off
for good behavior

i could do without my computer, tv or radio

but you would have to pry my dishwasher from my cold dead fingers

thursday was today and i didn't cook. i sat here instead.


o
/^ rssgallery.com
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