forgive me......I was near a heart attack and panicked....I am beyond embarassed

I have high blood pressure (taking 3 medicines) and an enlarged heart and
nearly died two years ago from another heart problem

and the malalia person has been attacking me offline out of no where even
before all this….

just picked me….

I freaked and should have just walked away….

he is still sending me messages from "list@rhizome" after I quit mostly to
not burden everyone and out of the shame I feel right now which is immense

I never act like that and it was just some weird panic and I am sorry