Identifying with Rhizome

When I was younger, I used to nag my friends for every little shortcoming I
perceived in them. In retrospect, there were two reasons feeding off of each
other.

In my 20's, I was incredibly insecure about myself. I did not have a good
grasp of who I was. This ambiguity can be painful in a social situation.
Driven by this pain, I rushed to define who I was. But, who I am is who I
am; making a conscious effort to construct one's own identity, in the long
run, can only interfere and delay the natural progress of coming to terms
with one's self.

In my willful construction of my own identity, as with anything willful, my
identities were structured by (or like) language. The books I read, the
music I listened to, the clothing that I wore, the artists that I liked, the
schools I went to, the jobs I had, the communities I belonged to, and
finally the friends I had were quickly incorporated into the structure of my
identity. That is, my identity was a collection of such symbols structured
in a specific way.

With something like books, music, and art, it is easy for one to pick and
choose precisely what one wants for one's identity. However, this is not the
case with friends, and communities (I'll get to that part later.).
Unfortunately friends have their own autonomous wills, with their own ideals
and tastes. If you had unlimited access to the billions of people in the
world, perhaps you can pick and choose your friends precisely, like you do
with books, but this is not practically possible. So, you have to live with
whatever you've got. Since you have a limited number of them, you try to
improve the ones you got, hence the nagging.

Because of this phenomenon, the friendships in our 20's tend to be volatile.
We end up nagging each other. From the perspective of the nagged, it always
appears intrusive and invasive. You feel like saying to him, "If you don't
like me, leave me alone." But to be able to say this, you must be pretty
secure in yourself, having no need for him to be part of your identity. This
is rarely the case, so we end up creating a vicious cycle of co-dependence.

Communities work the same way. When a community becomes a significant part
of your identity, you come to rely on it for your mental stability. This
community can be the church you belong to, the musical band that you are
involved in, or an online artists' community. Since you do not have
unlimited access to all of the communities in the world, you try to improve
the ones you have to suit your needs. Because of this emotional attachment,
or the psychological need for it, you cannot afford to be objective or
reasonable, eventually reaching the level of invasiveness.

This is what I see of "After Rhizome" website.

I should emphasize again that, despite the axiomatic style that I employ in
my writings, ALL my writings are gross generalizations, and are my own
interpretations of the world. I do not claim any truth in my writing for
anyone else. If you get something out of this, that's great. If not, then
that's fine too.

-Dyske

–
Dyske Suematsu
http://www.dyske.com
Where Nothing Is Everything