Pioneer DJ Goes Software; Making QWERTY Cool

Pioneer, known for their DJ software (and their superb video scratching hardware, the DXJ-X1 as covered here previously) have opted to release a software-only solution.
[....] So if I'm so bored by this and it's two weeks old anyway, why am I bringing it to your attention? Because you get to enjoy . . . (drum roll) . . .

Pioneer's Groundbreaking Explanation of the QWERTY Keyboard!

"The DJ can assign basic functions to a particular key on the PC keyboard. By doing this for frequently used functions, the DJ can establish his or her own playing style - on a keyboard."

Other software developers, you're on notice. Pioneer has discovered that by assigning functions to QWERTY keys you can . . . press . . . QWERTY keys and . . . do stuff. If you want to look cool: get a nice big shoulder strap for a Bluetooth wireless QWERTY and play it Keytar style. (Sadly, this works better for QWERTY-mapped synth lines, not DJing. It also helps if you wear a Devo hat.)