I used to be a track star, see www.ineedtostopsoon.com for further details; However, due to some unforseen events, I had to quit my track stardom and get with this strange organization that taught me kung-fu, how to fly helicopters, and how to win a chilli cook-off. This was about five years ago now. I escaped them by hypnotizing the leader into thinking I was a spider and they put me in a paper towel and got rid of me out the back window. I ran for my life and soon joined another group that I musn't speak of in public for fear they might turn me into a huge yellow walrus.
Regardless, as a publiciy stunt, I appeared in last year's People Magazine's Most Eligible Bachelors. I was offered a premier position on several boards, but turned them down for my quest for the ultimate answer.