This is absolutely fabulous. Big Oil is the laughing stock of the
world. Oil company hot-shots payed 45$ a piece to attend this
"keynote session" on incinerating mankind.
It sounds like the Canadian police were on the Yes Men's side the
whole time. I wonder if police in the US would have reacted differently.
Wired also has a good article on the event:http://blog.wired.com/wiredscience/2007/06/yes_men_strike_.html
and a nice photo of the candle scene here:http://consumerist.com/consumer/oil-&-gas/yes-men-solve-the-climate-
On 15-Jun-07, at 2:47 PM, Brett Stalbaum wrote:
> And at least one nice news article so far...
> + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +
> id ee8637-9bd1-4ed3-b0d8-4e14ea4d035b&kA943
> Protesters spring big hoax on oil expo audience
> Yes Men ejected from conference
> Sean Myers, Calgary Herald
> Published: Thursday, June 14, 2007
> By the time candles supposedly made from remains of a deceased
> ExxonMobil janitor named Reggie Watts were handed out, an audience
> of oil and gas professionals attending a keynote luncheon at
> Calgary's Gas and Oil Exposition realized they'd been had.
> A man named "S.K. Wolff," claiming to be an analyst for the
> Washington-based National Petroleum Council, and co-speaker
> "Florian Osenberg," said to represent ExxonMobil, were getting
> ready to show a memorial video made by Watts when security officers
> forcibly ushered the two men from the stage.
> Wolff is really Andy Bichlbaum and Osenberg is Mike Bonanno -- or
> so they say.
> As the Yes Men, the pair have travelled the world with an anti-
> globalization agenda perpetrating hoaxes on groups ranging from the
> World Trade Organization to the BBC.
> In Calgary, ostensibly to promote their book and a documentary they
> filmed three years ago at the Plaza Theatre tonight, the activists
> said they couldn't resist taking a shot at the oil and gas trade
> show, held over three days this week at Stampede Park.
> "This was a great opportunity for us, like the holy grail, really,"
> said Bichlbaum. "We've never had an audience like this. These
> people are wrecking the Earth and they're quite conscious of it."
> The premise of the presentation, which included a PowerPoint
> lecture by "S.K. Wolff," was that as humans begin to die as a
> result of calamities caused by climate change, their remains could
> be harvested for an alternative fuel source called "vivoleum" that
> would eventually replace oil.
> Osenberg, supposedly the director of human resources with the
> vivoleum program, took the stage carrying a lit candle while
> volunteers handed out candles to the audience.
> The approximately 250 assembled guests were told the vivoleum for
> the candles had been "sourced" from an ExxonMobil maintenance
> worker who donated it before dying of cancer.
> The candles were actually made of wax and human hair gathered from
> Organizers of GO-Expo were not impressed with the stunt.
> Officials from dmg world media, the company that runs GO-Expo,
> apologized profusely for the incident.
> Police were called in, but no charges were laid and no
> investigation will be launched, said a spokesman.
> Bichlbaum and Bonanno said they were each issued a $287 fine for
> "The organizers were furious," said Bichlbaum. "They thought we
> should be charged with crimes against humanity or something. The
> police were great. They were just going to let us go, but the
> organizers insisted we be charged with criminal trespass."
> The Yes Men started their unique form of protesting when they
> created a fake WTO website to protest the Seattle summit in 1999.
> When conferences began inviting them to speak, thinking they were
> actual representatives of the WTO, they began accepting.
> Bichlbaum said he was invited to the GO-Expo event by organizers
> who saw the vivoleum website the duo concocted.
> The Yes Men are appearing at the Plaza Theatre tonight to present a
> multimedia show of their past hoaxes.
> Marisa Olson wrote:
>> ---------- Forwarded message ----------
>> From: The Yes Men <firstname.lastname@example.org
>> Date: Jun 14, 2007 9:27 PM
>> June 14, 2007
>> FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
>> EXXON PROPOSES BURNING HUMANITY FOR FUEL IF CLIMATE CALAMITY HITS
>> Conference organizer fails to have Yes Men arrested
>> Text of speech, photos, video: http://www.vivoleum.com/event/
>> GO-EXPO statement:
>> Press conference before this event, Friday, Calgary:
>> Contact: mailto:email@example.com
>> More links at end of release.
>> Imposters posing as ExxonMobil and National Petroleum Council (NPC)
>> representatives delivered an outrageous keynote speech to 300 oilmen
>> at GO-EXPO, Canada's largest oil conference, held at Stampede Park in
>> Calgary, Alberta, today.
>> The speech was billed beforehand by the GO-EXPO organizers as the
>> major highlight of this year's conference, which had 20,000
>> attendees. In it, the "NPC rep" was expected to deliver the long-
>> conclusions of a study commissioned by US Energy Secretary
>> Samuel Bodman. The NPC is headed by former ExxonMobil CEO Lee
>> Raymond, who is also the chair of the study. (See link at end.)
>> In the actual speech, the "NPC rep" announced that current U.S. and
>> Canadian energy policies (notably the massive, carbon-intensive
>> exploitation of Alberta's oil sands, and the development of liquid
>> coal) are increasing the chances of huge global calamities. But he
>> reassured the audience that in the worst case scenario, the oil
>> industry could "keep fuel flowing" by transforming the billions of
>> people who die into oil.
>> "We need something like whales, but infinitely more abundant," said
>> "NPC rep" "Shepard Wolff" (actually Andy Bichlbaum of the Yes Men),
>> before describing the technology used to render human flesh into a
>> new Exxon oil product called Vivoleum. 3-D animations of the process
>> brought it to life.
>> "Vivoleum works in perfect synergy with the continued expansion of
>> fossil fuel production," noted "Exxon rep" "Florian Osenberg" (Yes
>> Man Mike Bonanno). "With more fossil fuels comes a greater chance of
>> disaster, but that means more feedstock for Vivoleum. Fuel will
>> continue to flow for those of us left."
>> The oilmen listened to the lecture with attention, and then lit
>> "commemorative candles" supposedly made of Vivoleum obtained from the
>> flesh of an "Exxon janitor" who died as a result of cleaning up a
>> toxic spill. The audience only reacted when the janitor, in a video
>> tribute, announced that he wished to be transformed into candles
>> after his death, and all became crystal-clear.
>> At that point, Simon Mellor, Commercial & Business Development
>> Director for the company putting on the event, strode up and
>> physically forced the Yes Men from the stage. As Mellor escorted
>> Bonanno out the door, a dozen journalists surrounded Bichlbaum, who,
>> still in character as "Shepard Wolff," explained to them the
>> rationale for Vivoleum.
>> "We've got to get ready. After all, fossil fuel development like that
>> of my company is increasing the chances of catastrophic climate
>> change, which could lead to massive calamities, causing migration and
>> conflicts that would likely disable the pipelines and oil wells.
>> Without oil we could no longer produce or transport food, and most of
>> humanity would starve. That would be a tragedy, but at least all
>> those bodies could be turned into fuel for the rest of us."
>> "We're not talking about killing anyone," added the "NPC rep." "We're
>> talking about using them after nature has done the hard work. After
>> all, 150,000 people already die from climate-change related effects
>> every year. That's only going to go up - maybe way, way up. Will it
>> all go to waste? That would be cruel."
>> Security guards then dragged Bichlbaum away from the reporters, and
>> he and Bonanno were detained until Calgary Police Service officers
>> could arrive. The policemen, determining that no major infractions
>> had been committed, permitted the Yes Men to leave.
>> Canada's oil sands, along with "liquid coal," are keystones of Bush's
>> Energy Security plan. Mining the oil sands is one of the dirtiest
>> forms of oil production and has turned Canada into one of the world's
>> worst carbon emitters. The production of "liquid coal" has twice the
>> carbon footprint as that of ordinary gasoline. Such technologies
>> increase the likelihood of massive climate catastrophes that will
>> condemn to death untold millions of people, mainly poor.
>> "If our idea of energy security is to increase the chances of climate
>> calamity, we have a very funny sense of what security really is,"
>> Bonanno said. "While ExxonMobil continues to post record profits,
>> they use their money to persuade governments to do nothing about
>> climate change. This is a crime against humanity."
>> "Putting the former Exxon CEO in charge of the NPC, and soliciting
>> his advice on our energy future, is like putting the wolf in charge
>> of the flock," said "Shepard Wolff" (Bichlbaum). "Exxon has done more
>> damage to the environment and to our chances of survival than any
>> other company on earth. Why should we let them determine our future?"
>> About the NPC and ExxonMobil:
>> About the Alberta oil sands: http://www.sierraclub.ca/prairie/
>> About liquid coal: http://www.sierraclub.org/coal/liquidcoal/
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> Brett Stalbaum, Lecturer, LSOE
> Coordinator, Interdisciplinary Computing and the Arts Major (ICAM)
> UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA, SAN DIEGO
> Department of Visual Arts
> 9500 GILMAN DR. # 0084
> La Jolla CA 92093-0084
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