Fwd: EXXON'S PLAN B FOR CLIMATE CALAMITY: BURN PEOPLE

And at least one nice news article so far…

+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

http://www.canada.com/nationalpost/financialpost/story.html?id ee8637-9bd1-4ed3-b0d8-4e14ea4d035b&kA943

Protesters spring big hoax on oil expo audience
Yes Men ejected from conference
Sean Myers, Calgary Herald
Published: Thursday, June 14, 2007

By the time candles supposedly made from remains of a deceased
ExxonMobil janitor named Reggie Watts were handed out, an audience of
oil and gas professionals attending a keynote luncheon at Calgary's Gas
and Oil Exposition realized they'd been had.

A man named "S.K. Wolff," claiming to be an analyst for the
Washington-based National Petroleum Council, and co-speaker "Florian
Osenberg," said to represent ExxonMobil, were getting ready to show a
memorial video made by Watts when security officers forcibly ushered the
two men from the stage.

Wolff is really Andy Bichlbaum and Osenberg is Mike Bonanno – or so
they say.

As the Yes Men, the pair have travelled the world with an
anti-globalization agenda perpetrating hoaxes on groups ranging from the
World Trade Organization to the BBC.

In Calgary, ostensibly to promote their book and a documentary they
filmed three years ago at the Plaza Theatre tonight, the activists said
they couldn't resist taking a shot at the oil and gas trade show, held
over three days this week at Stampede Park.

"This was a great opportunity for us, like the holy grail, really," said
Bichlbaum. "We've never had an audience like this. These people are
wrecking the Earth and they're quite conscious of it."

The premise of the presentation, which included a PowerPoint lecture by
"S.K. Wolff," was that as humans begin to die as a result of calamities
caused by climate change, their remains could be harvested for an
alternative fuel source called "vivoleum" that would eventually replace oil.

Osenberg, supposedly the director of human resources with the vivoleum
program, took the stage carrying a lit candle while volunteers handed
out candles to the audience.

The approximately 250 assembled guests were told the vivoleum for the
candles had been "sourced" from an ExxonMobil maintenance worker who
donated it before dying of cancer.

The candles were actually made of wax and human hair gathered from
barbershops.

Organizers of GO-Expo were not impressed with the stunt.

Officials from dmg world media, the company that runs GO-Expo,
apologized profusely for the incident.

Police were called in, but no charges were laid and no investigation
will be launched, said a spokesman.

Bichlbaum and Bonanno said they were each issued a $287 fine for
trespassing.

"The organizers were furious," said Bichlbaum. "They thought we should
be charged with crimes against humanity or something. The police were
great. They were just going to let us go, but the organizers insisted we
be charged with criminal trespass."

The Yes Men started their unique form of protesting when they created a
fake WTO website to protest the Seattle summit in 1999. When conferences
began inviting them to speak, thinking they were actual representatives
of the WTO, they began accepting.

Bichlbaum said he was invited to the GO-Expo event by organizers who saw
the vivoleum website the duo concocted.

The Yes Men are appearing at the Plaza Theatre tonight to present a
multimedia show of their past hoaxes.

Marisa Olson wrote:
> ———- Forwarded message ———-
> From: The Yes Men <[email protected]>
> Date: Jun 14, 2007 9:27 PM
>
>
> June 14, 2007
> FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
>
> EXXON PROPOSES BURNING HUMANITY FOR FUEL IF CLIMATE CALAMITY HITS
> Conference organizer fails to have Yes Men arrested
>
> Text of speech, photos, video: http://www.vivoleum.com/event/
> GO-EXPO statement:
> http://newswire.ca/en/releases/archive/June2007/14/c5086.html
> Press conference before this event, Friday, Calgary:
> http://arusha.org/event/7214
> Contact: mailto:[email protected]
> More links at end of release.
>
> Imposters posing as ExxonMobil and National Petroleum Council (NPC)
> representatives delivered an outrageous keynote speech to 300 oilmen
> at GO-EXPO, Canada's largest oil conference, held at Stampede Park in
> Calgary, Alberta, today.
>
> The speech was billed beforehand by the GO-EXPO organizers as the
> major highlight of this year's conference, which had 20,000
> attendees. In it, the "NPC rep" was expected to deliver the long-awaited
> conclusions of a study commissioned by US Energy Secretary
> Samuel Bodman. The NPC is headed by former ExxonMobil CEO Lee
> Raymond, who is also the chair of the study. (See link at end.)
>
> In the actual speech, the "NPC rep" announced that current U.S. and
> Canadian energy policies (notably the massive, carbon-intensive
> exploitation of Alberta's oil sands, and the development of liquid
> coal) are increasing the chances of huge global calamities. But he
> reassured the audience that in the worst case scenario, the oil
> industry could "keep fuel flowing" by transforming the billions of
> people who die into oil.
>
> "We need something like whales, but infinitely more abundant," said
> "NPC rep" "Shepard Wolff" (actually Andy Bichlbaum of the Yes Men),
> before describing the technology used to render human flesh into a
> new Exxon oil product called Vivoleum. 3-D animations of the process
> brought it to life.
>
> "Vivoleum works in perfect synergy with the continued expansion of
> fossil fuel production," noted "Exxon rep" "Florian Osenberg" (Yes
> Man Mike Bonanno). "With more fossil fuels comes a greater chance of
> disaster, but that means more feedstock for Vivoleum. Fuel will
> continue to flow for those of us left."
>
> The oilmen listened to the lecture with attention, and then lit
> "commemorative candles" supposedly made of Vivoleum obtained from the
> flesh of an "Exxon janitor" who died as a result of cleaning up a
> toxic spill. The audience only reacted when the janitor, in a video
> tribute, announced that he wished to be transformed into candles
> after his death, and all became crystal-clear.
>
> At that point, Simon Mellor, Commercial & Business Development
> Director for the company putting on the event, strode up and
> physically forced the Yes Men from the stage. As Mellor escorted
> Bonanno out the door, a dozen journalists surrounded Bichlbaum, who,
> still in character as "Shepard Wolff," explained to them the
> rationale for Vivoleum.
>
> "We've got to get ready. After all, fossil fuel development like that
> of my company is increasing the chances of catastrophic climate
> change, which could lead to massive calamities, causing migration and
> conflicts that would likely disable the pipelines and oil wells.
> Without oil we could no longer produce or transport food, and most of
> humanity would starve. That would be a tragedy, but at least all
> those bodies could be turned into fuel for the rest of us."
>
> "We're not talking about killing anyone," added the "NPC rep." "We're
> talking about using them after nature has done the hard work. After
> all, 150,000 people already die from climate-change related effects
> every year. That's only going to go up - maybe way, way up. Will it
> all go to waste? That would be cruel."
>
> Security guards then dragged Bichlbaum away from the reporters, and
> he and Bonanno were detained until Calgary Police Service officers
> could arrive. The policemen, determining that no major infractions
> had been committed, permitted the Yes Men to leave.
>
> Canada's oil sands, along with "liquid coal," are keystones of Bush's
> Energy Security plan. Mining the oil sands is one of the dirtiest
> forms of oil production and has turned Canada into one of the world's
> worst carbon emitters. The production of "liquid coal" has twice the
> carbon footprint as that of ordinary gasoline. Such technologies
> increase the likelihood of massive climate catastrophes that will
> condemn to death untold millions of people, mainly poor.
>
> "If our idea of energy security is to increase the chances of climate
> calamity, we have a very funny sense of what security really is,"
> Bonanno said. "While ExxonMobil continues to post record profits,
> they use their money to persuade governments to do nothing about
> climate change. This is a crime against humanity."
>
> "Putting the former Exxon CEO in charge of the NPC, and soliciting
> his advice on our energy future, is like putting the wolf in charge
> of the flock," said "Shepard Wolff" (Bichlbaum). "Exxon has done more
> damage to the environment and to our chances of survival than any
> other company on earth. Why should we let them determine our future?"
>
> About the NPC and ExxonMobil:
> http://ga3.org/campaign/lee_raymond/explanation
> About the Alberta oil sands:
> http://www.sierraclub.ca/prairie/tarnation.htm
> About liquid coal: http://www.sierraclub.org/coal/liquidcoal/
> +
> -> post: [email protected]
> -> questions: [email protected]
> -> subscribe/unsubscribe: http://rhizome.org/preferences/subscribe.rhiz
> -> give: http://rhizome.org/support
> +
> Subscribers to Rhizome are subject to the terms set out in the
> Membership Agreement available online at http://rhizome.org/info/29.php
>

–
Brett Stalbaum, Lecturer, LSOE
Coordinator, Interdisciplinary Computing and the Arts Major (ICAM)
UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA, SAN DIEGO
Department of Visual Arts
9500 GILMAN DR. # 0084
La Jolla CA 92093-0084
http://www.c5corp.com
http://www.paintersflat.net

Office hours:
ICAM 130/VIS 149 Tuesdays 1-2PM
ICAM/Media Computing faculty advising Tuesdays 2-3PM
location: VAF 206 (across from the machine shop)
VIS 141B - the hour before class - meeting site varies

This is absolutely fabulous. Big Oil is the laughing stock of the
world. Oil company hot-shots payed 45$ a piece to attend this
"keynote session" on incinerating mankind.

It sounds like the Canadian police were on the Yes Men's side the
whole time. I wonder if police in the US would have reacted differently.

Wired also has a good article on the event:

http://blog.wired.com/wiredscience/2007/06/yes_men_strike_.html

and a nice photo of the candle scene here:

http://consumerist.com/consumer/oil-&-gas/yes-men-solve-the-climate-
crisis-soylent-green-269213.php

Viva vivoleum!


On 15-Jun-07, at 2:47 PM, Brett Stalbaum wrote:

> And at least one nice news article so far…
>
> + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +
>
> http://www.canada.com/nationalpost/financialpost/story.html?
> id ee8637-9bd1-4ed3-b0d8-4e14ea4d035b&kA943
>
> Protesters spring big hoax on oil expo audience
> Yes Men ejected from conference
> Sean Myers, Calgary Herald
> Published: Thursday, June 14, 2007
>
> By the time candles supposedly made from remains of a deceased
> ExxonMobil janitor named Reggie Watts were handed out, an audience
> of oil and gas professionals attending a keynote luncheon at
> Calgary's Gas and Oil Exposition realized they'd been had.
>
> A man named "S.K. Wolff," claiming to be an analyst for the
> Washington-based National Petroleum Council, and co-speaker
> "Florian Osenberg," said to represent ExxonMobil, were getting
> ready to show a memorial video made by Watts when security officers
> forcibly ushered the two men from the stage.
>
> Wolff is really Andy Bichlbaum and Osenberg is Mike Bonanno – or
> so they say.
>
> As the Yes Men, the pair have travelled the world with an anti-
> globalization agenda perpetrating hoaxes on groups ranging from the
> World Trade Organization to the BBC.
>
> In Calgary, ostensibly to promote their book and a documentary they
> filmed three years ago at the Plaza Theatre tonight, the activists
> said they couldn't resist taking a shot at the oil and gas trade
> show, held over three days this week at Stampede Park.
>
> "This was a great opportunity for us, like the holy grail, really,"
> said Bichlbaum. "We've never had an audience like this. These
> people are wrecking the Earth and they're quite conscious of it."
>
> The premise of the presentation, which included a PowerPoint
> lecture by "S.K. Wolff," was that as humans begin to die as a
> result of calamities caused by climate change, their remains could
> be harvested for an alternative fuel source called "vivoleum" that
> would eventually replace oil.
>
> Osenberg, supposedly the director of human resources with the
> vivoleum program, took the stage carrying a lit candle while
> volunteers handed out candles to the audience.
>
> The approximately 250 assembled guests were told the vivoleum for
> the candles had been "sourced" from an ExxonMobil maintenance
> worker who donated it before dying of cancer.
>
> The candles were actually made of wax and human hair gathered from
> barbershops.
>
> Organizers of GO-Expo were not impressed with the stunt.
>
> Officials from dmg world media, the company that runs GO-Expo,
> apologized profusely for the incident.
>
> Police were called in, but no charges were laid and no
> investigation will be launched, said a spokesman.
>
> Bichlbaum and Bonanno said they were each issued a $287 fine for
> trespassing.
>
> "The organizers were furious," said Bichlbaum. "They thought we
> should be charged with crimes against humanity or something. The
> police were great. They were just going to let us go, but the
> organizers insisted we be charged with criminal trespass."
>
> The Yes Men started their unique form of protesting when they
> created a fake WTO website to protest the Seattle summit in 1999.
> When conferences began inviting them to speak, thinking they were
> actual representatives of the WTO, they began accepting.
>
> Bichlbaum said he was invited to the GO-Expo event by organizers
> who saw the vivoleum website the duo concocted.
>
> The Yes Men are appearing at the Plaza Theatre tonight to present a
> multimedia show of their past hoaxes.
>
> Marisa Olson wrote:
>> ———- Forwarded message ———-
>> From: The Yes Men <[email protected]>
>> Date: Jun 14, 2007 9:27 PM
>> June 14, 2007
>> FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
>> EXXON PROPOSES BURNING HUMANITY FOR FUEL IF CLIMATE CALAMITY HITS
>> Conference organizer fails to have Yes Men arrested
>> Text of speech, photos, video: http://www.vivoleum.com/event/
>> GO-EXPO statement:
>> http://newswire.ca/en/releases/archive/June2007/14/c5086.html
>> Press conference before this event, Friday, Calgary:
>> http://arusha.org/event/7214
>> Contact: mailto:[email protected]
>> More links at end of release.
>> Imposters posing as ExxonMobil and National Petroleum Council (NPC)
>> representatives delivered an outrageous keynote speech to 300 oilmen
>> at GO-EXPO, Canada's largest oil conference, held at Stampede Park in
>> Calgary, Alberta, today.
>> The speech was billed beforehand by the GO-EXPO organizers as the
>> major highlight of this year's conference, which had 20,000
>> attendees. In it, the "NPC rep" was expected to deliver the long-
>> awaited
>> conclusions of a study commissioned by US Energy Secretary
>> Samuel Bodman. The NPC is headed by former ExxonMobil CEO Lee
>> Raymond, who is also the chair of the study. (See link at end.)
>> In the actual speech, the "NPC rep" announced that current U.S. and
>> Canadian energy policies (notably the massive, carbon-intensive
>> exploitation of Alberta's oil sands, and the development of liquid
>> coal) are increasing the chances of huge global calamities. But he
>> reassured the audience that in the worst case scenario, the oil
>> industry could "keep fuel flowing" by transforming the billions of
>> people who die into oil.
>> "We need something like whales, but infinitely more abundant," said
>> "NPC rep" "Shepard Wolff" (actually Andy Bichlbaum of the Yes Men),
>> before describing the technology used to render human flesh into a
>> new Exxon oil product called Vivoleum. 3-D animations of the process
>> brought it to life.
>> "Vivoleum works in perfect synergy with the continued expansion of
>> fossil fuel production," noted "Exxon rep" "Florian Osenberg" (Yes
>> Man Mike Bonanno). "With more fossil fuels comes a greater chance of
>> disaster, but that means more feedstock for Vivoleum. Fuel will
>> continue to flow for those of us left."
>> The oilmen listened to the lecture with attention, and then lit
>> "commemorative candles" supposedly made of Vivoleum obtained from the
>> flesh of an "Exxon janitor" who died as a result of cleaning up a
>> toxic spill. The audience only reacted when the janitor, in a video
>> tribute, announced that he wished to be transformed into candles
>> after his death, and all became crystal-clear.
>> At that point, Simon Mellor, Commercial & Business Development
>> Director for the company putting on the event, strode up and
>> physically forced the Yes Men from the stage. As Mellor escorted
>> Bonanno out the door, a dozen journalists surrounded Bichlbaum, who,
>> still in character as "Shepard Wolff," explained to them the
>> rationale for Vivoleum.
>> "We've got to get ready. After all, fossil fuel development like that
>> of my company is increasing the chances of catastrophic climate
>> change, which could lead to massive calamities, causing migration and
>> conflicts that would likely disable the pipelines and oil wells.
>> Without oil we could no longer produce or transport food, and most of
>> humanity would starve. That would be a tragedy, but at least all
>> those bodies could be turned into fuel for the rest of us."
>> "We're not talking about killing anyone," added the "NPC rep." "We're
>> talking about using them after nature has done the hard work. After
>> all, 150,000 people already die from climate-change related effects
>> every year. That's only going to go up - maybe way, way up. Will it
>> all go to waste? That would be cruel."
>> Security guards then dragged Bichlbaum away from the reporters, and
>> he and Bonanno were detained until Calgary Police Service officers
>> could arrive. The policemen, determining that no major infractions
>> had been committed, permitted the Yes Men to leave.
>> Canada's oil sands, along with "liquid coal," are keystones of Bush's
>> Energy Security plan. Mining the oil sands is one of the dirtiest
>> forms of oil production and has turned Canada into one of the world's
>> worst carbon emitters. The production of "liquid coal" has twice the
>> carbon footprint as that of ordinary gasoline. Such technologies
>> increase the likelihood of massive climate catastrophes that will
>> condemn to death untold millions of people, mainly poor.
>> "If our idea of energy security is to increase the chances of climate
>> calamity, we have a very funny sense of what security really is,"
>> Bonanno said. "While ExxonMobil continues to post record profits,
>> they use their money to persuade governments to do nothing about
>> climate change. This is a crime against humanity."
>> "Putting the former Exxon CEO in charge of the NPC, and soliciting
>> his advice on our energy future, is like putting the wolf in charge
>> of the flock," said "Shepard Wolff" (Bichlbaum). "Exxon has done more
>> damage to the environment and to our chances of survival than any
>> other company on earth. Why should we let them determine our future?"
>> About the NPC and ExxonMobil:
>> http://ga3.org/campaign/lee_raymond/explanation
>> About the Alberta oil sands: http://www.sierraclub.ca/prairie/
>> tarnation.htm
>> About liquid coal: http://www.sierraclub.org/coal/liquidcoal/
>> +
>> -> post: [email protected]
>> -> questions: [email protected]
>> -> subscribe/unsubscribe: http://rhizome.org/preferences/
>> subscribe.rhiz
>> -> give: http://rhizome.org/support
>> +
>> Subscribers to Rhizome are subject to the terms set out in the
>> Membership Agreement available online at http://rhizome.org/info/
>> 29.php
>
> –
> Brett Stalbaum, Lecturer, LSOE
> Coordinator, Interdisciplinary Computing and the Arts Major (ICAM)
> UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA, SAN DIEGO
> Department of Visual Arts
> 9500 GILMAN DR. # 0084
> La Jolla CA 92093-0084
> http://www.c5corp.com
> http://www.paintersflat.net
>
> Office hours:
> ICAM 130/VIS 149 Tuesdays 1-2PM
> ICAM/Media Computing faculty advising Tuesdays 2-3PM
> location: VAF 206 (across from the machine shop)
> VIS 141B - the hour before class - meeting site varies
> +
> -> post: [email protected]
> -> questions: [email protected]
> -> subscribe/unsubscribe: http://rhizome.org/preferences/
> subscribe.rhiz
> -> give: http://rhizome.org/support
> +
> Subscribers to Rhizome are subject to the terms set out in the
> Membership Agreement available online at http://rhizome.org/info/
> 29.php
>




–
Pall Thayer
[email protected]

http://www.this.is/pallit