Stalin Reanimated Expresses Newfound Love for Activist Art
Reproduced from: Assimilated Press
Author: Gwen Hooks
Earlier today American Scientists announced a stunning leap forward for biotechnology, and unexpectedly by extension a cultural awakening, by successfully reanimating the body of Joseph Stalin in a government laboratory located at an undisclosed US military installation. The genetic material brought to the US by a Russian defector in the early 1980's had been kept and under close guard until a crack-team of nuclear and chemical biologists petitioned and attained access to the material. "It took some hard work - everyone is aware of Stalin's public image problem - but thankfully we could convince President Bush that it was in his best interest to sign on to this project," commented chief scientist Richard Marine. While the scientific ramifications of this project are clearly monumental, perhaps the biggest surprise was the unexpected cultural and political dividends that this project could reap for the current administration. At a brief press conference held at President Bush's ranch in Texas, Stalin, who was not expected to speak formally, gave a brief and emotional statement including thoughts on his legacy, world politics, and the afterlife, but most surprising was an outline for the cultural revitalization of Amerika. The key to "liberating the masses," as he put it, was not to impose a blatant government mandate concerning art and other visual representations, but to "use the historic strategies of artists who resisted totalitarianism against those who are pro-democracy today." Stalin went on to state, "if we (the 1%) assimilate all that we previously saw as "subversive" and use these techniques as our own then where will the subversive exist?" Stalin continued, "the beauty here is that we can make the cultural elite and the uppermiddle classes - who are generally the demographic for successful artists - feel as though we are representing democracy even while our policies say quite the opposite."