Over a century after Albert Einstein first theorized that time is relative, experimental philosopher Jonathon Keats has developed the first practical means of leveraging relativity in business and personal life. His pioneering time management system, conveniently suitable for an individual desktop or an entire city, will be presented to the public at the global launch of Spacetime Industries on September 26, 2013. Select time management tools will be available for trial and purchase at a special opening event in downtown San Francisco.
"For too long, time management has just been a euphemism for discipline," says Mr. Keats. "Time has been managed by corporate decree or motivational techniques. But who really needs Stephen Covey or Tim Ferriss when there's time dilation?"
Time dilation is an outcome of Einstein's theory of relativity, in which spacetime is the four-dimensional fabric of the universe, and that fabric is warped by gravity. The greater the warping by a massive object such as a star or planet, the more time dilates: A clock on Earth will run slow relative to a clock in the vacuum of space. The same is true of a clock subjected to centripetal force, which is mathematically equivalent to gravity. The faster it's spun inside a centrifuge or on a merry-go-round, the slower the clock will run relative to one that isn't being swiveled.
"Spinning in circles is a lot easier than disciplining yourself or other people," observes Mr. Keats. "If you set things up just right, you can take advantage of the rate that your clock is running relative to other clocks, and you can start to manage time itself."
According to Mr. Keats, the optimal system would benefit everybody. "The best way to leverage relativity is as a community," he says. "If you build a city on an interconnected set of spinning hubs instead of solid ground, you can zone the fastest-spinning districts as residential neighborhoods and plant farms or build factories in districts that spin more slowly. That way crops will grow really quickly and machinery will run really efficiently from the perspective of all inhabitants. Depending on your speed ratios, you could live for eons without doing much of anything."
Spacetime Industries has already produced blueprints for no fewer than three time-managed cities. All are available for licensing by governments or urban planners, though the technical means of rotating neighborhoods at velocities approaching the speed of light have yet to be resolved satisfactorily.
Also under development are individual dwellings that enlist similar principles for families. "Given the difficulty of building consensus on anything in the United States, time-managed private housing may initially be more viable than urban hubs," Mr. Keats comments. In one scheme, these houses would have near-lightspeed spinning bedrooms – or 'hibernatoria' – where owners could go while awaiting growth of their garden or stock portfolio. "Most financial analysts will tell you that you're pretty much guaranteed to profit if you invest in the stock market over the long term," says Mr. Keats. "If you bought a million shares of Facebook or General Mills and then crawled inside your hibernatorium, the long term would be relatively short term for you."
Recognizing that some people may be unable to wait for the first hibernatoria to become available hundreds or thousands of years from now when the first near-lightspeed engines are invented, Spacetime Industries is already preparing to provide solutions to pressing time management problems. The company's first product will be a time ingot which can be placed on a desktop or bedstand for temporal micromanagement. The time ingot has absolutely no moving parts. "It's gravitational ballast," says Mr. Keats. In other words, the ingot is a high-density alloy that warps the four-dimensional fabric of the universe, dilating time in your immediate vicinity.
The effect is nearly imperceptible. "When we say micromanagement, we mean it," says Mr. Keats. Users should expect a relative time difference of less than one second every billion years. "Which is to say that it's perfectly safe… except for the alloy's high lead content."
Time ingots will be available for purchase at the Spacetime Industries launch event, offered at a special introductory price of $29.99. Mr. Keats will be on hand to demonstrate their use, and also to consult on time-managed housing and cities.
"Ultimately we'd like to manage time throughout the cosmos," says Mr. Keats. "Right now, relativity is mostly used for mundane tasks like correcting GPS coordinates. But once you start to plan out the placement of neutron stars and naked singularities, Einstein's formulae can practically give you immortality."