This month Opium Magazine publishes the longest story ever told, estimated to take a minimum of twelve human generations to read. Printed directly on the magazine cover using newly-developed inking technology, the nine-word-long story was composed by American conceptual artist Jonathon Keats. "You can’t read it now," he says. "The words will take about a hundred years each to fade into view."
An artist best known for exhibiting extraterrestrial paintings and for attempting to genetically engineer God at UC Berkeley, Mr. Keats assures would-be readers and their offspring that the thousand years will be worth the wait. "The story is an antidote to instant gratification," he explains. "Who cares what's actually written?"
Many people already do, according to Opium editor-in-chief Todd Zuniga, who's been swamped with questions since the thousand-year story was announced on Opium's website. Zuniga isn’t giving out any clues. "Jonathon told me the story when we started talking," he says. "What can I tell you? I forgot it as soon as I heard it."
Opium8 will be available on newsstands nationwide on May 21, 2009. To preview the cover, see www.OpiumMagazine.com/opium8. For more information, email firstname.lastname@example.org.